It's Back! Not Me Monday!

Well here we are again at the start of a brand new week and you know what that means...It is time for another fun round of "Not Me Monday" where I tell you about ALL of the things that I did NOT do last week. Yeah, right!

I did NOT lose my keys at Target this week only to discover that when I got home that they were not with me...I also won't tell you that when I called to see if I left them there that I had to identify them by claiming that yes, I was indeed the proud owner of the keys with the cute lil' pink plastic fish toy that's attached.

I won't tell you that even at my age I still play with "toys!" Yes, I work with five year olds ALL day long so really now, what do you expect? I also like drawing with chalk on the sidewalk and blowing bubbles too! Whoa! I didn't say that out loud now did I? "NO. NOT ME!"

I also won't tell you that when I went back to Target later that week, my car battery did NOT die on me! NO, NO, NO...say it ain't so! I was so poised and calm that I didn't call my father in a frenzy to ask him what to do next! Why didn't I call Triple AAA in the first place you ask? Because I was hoping that a Genie would appear and wave a wand and make my damn car work! Do you really think I would think that? "NO. NOT ME!"

I do NOT have a love/hate relationship with my car. "NO. NOT ME!" Seriously, why after replacing the breaks, rotors, a head gasket and a battery to the tune of about $5000 all within a few weeks of each other, would I be angry? Is it possible for me to get a divorce from my car and site "irreconcilable differences?" NO...That's just plain silly.

Finally, I won't admit to my foolish mistake of the week/year/century because honestly, I don't make mistakes! "NO. NOT ME!" So therefore, I wont tell you that when I contacted one of my friends on "Facebook" that somehow I foolishly mistook her answer to making "new friends" as a slap directly aimed at me for not making enough time for her and our friendship in my rather busy work schedule. I'm also not going to admit my embarrassment that when after I wrote her an apology note stating that fact, that she had to explain to me that the "new friends" she was actually referring to was her "brand new boob job!!!" Oh my! Robin Dana...honestly, how did jump to THAT conclusion? "OH NO! THAT WAS NOT ME!" I guess that open communication REALLY is the key to maintaining good relationships! Sooooooooo my friends THAT was my week! How was yours?! :)

Not Me Monday!

Well here we are again at the start of a brand new week and you know what that means...It is time for another fun round of "Not Me Monday" where I tell you about ALL of the things that I did NOT do. Yeah, right!

I wont tell you that even though I did NOT participate last week in McMama's "Not Me Monday" post, I did NOT have the nerve to put my name on "Mr. Linky's" list just so that I could be a part of the "In Crowd" now would I? Really that would be dishonest and just plain wrong so I won't tell you that I actually did that!

I also won't be revealing that I decided to wash my black coat and didn't realize that I had my black cell phone in there and washed that too! Seriously, that would be just plain irresponsible and careless of me!

Then when I went to the AT&T store with my mother to get a replacement phone, I wont tell you that my mother had to also point out that this is the second cell phone that I had that was destroyed by water...the first having fallen into the toilet! (A clean toilet...and YES I made sure that "Mr. Cell Phone Dealer" knew that!) By the way, he was very cute but any chance of him asking me out was destroyed by my meddling mother and due to the fact that I treat cell phones so carelessly! You have to applaud a man who loves his job! He did a mighty fine job too...he encouraged me to get insurance so that this doesn't ever happen again!

Do I tell you that I whined like a two year old when the particular cell phone that I wanted wasn't available in the color I wanted? NO! I won't tell you that because that just sounds so vain and frivolous! (But gosh I really did love that silver model! It was soooo cool but I had to settle for basic boring black! Blahhhh!)

I did NOT accidently run into the boys bathroom by accident! Actually, I should have stayed in there because it was far cleaner than the ladies room! I did NOT just say that, did I? "No. Not Me!"

I did NOT eat a whole sleeve of Girl Scout Thin Mints in one setting! NO, I did NOT! That would be just plain gluttony! Does it help if I admit that I did in fact have a "Diet Coke" to go with it? It's all about balance people! Not only that,but you just have to keep those cute little Girl Scouts in business! It's good for the economy and besides that, have you ever seen a Girl Scout cry? It's not good, not good at all!

Well THAT was my fun weekend in a nutshell! Tomorrow is Tuesday...it's bound to get better right? Right! So have a GREAT week my friends and go out and get yourself some Girl Scout Cookies! I promise you that you wont be sorry! LOL...

Not Me Monday!

Well here we are again at the start of a brand new week and you know what that means...It is time for another fun round of "Not Me Monday" where I tell you about ALL of the things that I did NOT do. Yeah, right!

I did NOT forget my Mother's birthday this week. I mean seriously how could I do such a horrible thing? After all, we celebrate it on the same day every year but this year as I was celebrating sweet little Allyson's birthday who happens to be a student in my classroom, it wasn't until we were in the middle of her blowing out the candle on her cupcake that I realized that I had some serious "explaining to do!"

Then in my attempt to buy my mother a birthday present, I didn't pick up an item from the sale rack at WalMart...NO. NOT ME! Honestly people, this is the woman who gave birth to me and she deserves nothing but the best. But then again, when there is a sale how can one resist? NO. NOT ME!

Well if one didn't think that was bad enough, I lost my debit card after my quick excursion to the WalMart. What...you say? How could I do such a dumb thing as that? I so wish that it was NOT ME but it unfortunately was..."sniff, sniff." Not only that, but when I tried to explain my "designer debit" card that my mother insisted we get together, the manager looked at me like I was insane! I really can't blame him I was insane at that moment...with panic!

Then came the phone calls to the bank and to my mother! Let's just say that my phone call to the bank was much easier and pleasant than the one to my mother was. Yes, I am an adult woman, but after hearing a long lecture about responsibility from my mother, I was made to feel just like one of the five year olds that I teach! Oh how I wish I was five sometimes...it was would a whole lot easier. I didn't just say that now did I? NO. NOT ME!

I also was unable to get a temporary debit card...that's a long story in itself but it resulted in me waiting ALL day Friday for Fed Ex to deliver me a new debit card. As soon as I saw the truck out in front of my house I ran out and thanked the delivery man profusely and then went on a shopping spree! Yes indeed! I NOW had money so to speak and it was burning a hole in my pocket book. "Robin Dana, don't you have ANY self control?" NO. NOT ME! And how was YOUR week?

Not Me Monday!

Well here we are again at the start of a brand new week and you know what that means...It is time for another fun round of "Not Me Monday" where I tell you about ALL of the things that I did NOT do. Yeah, right!

I did NOT make a quick Wal-Mart run yesterday without realizing that I hadn't combed my hair ALL day. You can imagine my surprise (or NOT) when I looked in the mirror and saw that I looked like a rooster! By the way if you happen to have seen me when I was out and about, please note that THAT WAS NOT ME!

I'm also NOT going to tell you that when I went to the Wal-Mart I had to buy these cool looking Pop Tarts.

Seriously, how cool are they? What will they think of next? Do you think that they are sending out a subliminal message by putting Barbie's picture on a Pop Tart? I'm just sayin' people..."Oh No,That Was Not Me Thinking THAT!"

Speaking of Barbie, I am going to go off on a tangent here because while my little girlfriends growing up were playing with their Barbies and dreaming of being one day just like her, I ripped off my Barbie's head from her body and stuck her on the end of my pencil just for the fun of it! What a nice little girl I was huh? Oh...I forgot, that was "Not Me!"

I am so glad that I did NOT go to the dentist and have to get shot up with novocaine twice because the first shot wouldn't take. That just wouldn't happen to sweet lil' old me now would it? "No, Not Me!" I also wont tell you that I ended up being so numbed up that I didn't realize that I was biting the dental assistant until she yelled at me to stop! I actually could feel bad about that but it served them right for hurting me in the first place! Do you think that feeling two novocaine shots and a drill digging so far down into your gums that you feel it all the way down to your toenails is something that I particularly look forward to? "No, Not Me!"

Do I tell you that when I went to the dentist, I took a magazine from the waiting room and didn't put it back? No, I WON'T tell you that but if I did, let me first say that by the time I pay my dental bill, they will have enough of my money to not only redecorate their waiting room but they'll also be able buy a whole new slew of magazines as well! I soooooooooo wish that wasn't me but as I sit here looking at my brand new "People" magazine, I think of it as a parting gift! (Okay, ya'll before you start branding me as a thief, haven't you done something like that?) Actually...it wasn't me that did that...Oh NO, NO, NO...it was my "alter ego." Yeah that's it!

Finally, I most certainly won't tell you that on my way home from work, a beautiful flock of birds went flying over my car and decided to relieve themselves ALL over the hood! At least my sun roof wasn't open! Needless to say, I didn't make it home right away...thank goodness for drive thru car washes! Do you think this is a sign of my week to come? "NO, NOT FOR ME!" It will be a good week! It will be indeed! So there you have it in a nutshell my friends...I pray that you have a better start of the week than I did!

Not Me Monday!

My, my, my time sure does fly! It seems like I was just doing this a week ago...oh yeah I was. Well it is another round of "Not Me Monday" where I can be "real" and admit the things that I supposedly did NOT do this week!

I did NOT cheat and look up who the Golden Globe winners were on the web because I didn't want to waste my time watching if none of my favorites were going to win! Why would I do that? Honestly, it's NOT like I'm an impatient person..."No. Not Me!"

I did NOT tell a white lie to one of my friends and tell her that I was not able to go with her to see another friend because I had plans to go out and celebrate my father's birthday. Yes, I really did celebrate my dad's birthday BUT that was during the day, and she was planning to go out that evening...when the Golden Globes were on. Well it's a good thing that she doesn't read blogs because she will never, ever know that I did NOT do that. Whew!

I will NOT admit that I am a huge Law and Order fan and am watching a marathon as we speak...really why would I do that when I really need to get ready for school this week?

I did NOT go and wait 15 minutes in line at Petco to buy 20 live crickets to feed to my classroom's pet toad because if I didn't I would have 21 unhappy children who would think that I wanted to starve their beloved "Splatman" on purpose! The things that one will do for kids...They can't say that I do NOT love them cause I do...very much so!

I did NOT forget my dad's birthday last Friday! How could I possibly do that! He is very proud of the fact that he was born on the same day as Elvis Presley and Richard Nixon. You know Dad, I wouldn't boast too much about Nixon, after all he was impeached!

I did NOT watch the Golden Globes and upon seeing Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt try and figure out a way that they could legally adopt me into their family. Really that would be just plain silly but if they wanted to I'm more than willing. I know that Dad would let me go especially now since I forgot all about his birthday!

So there you have it folks...all the things that I would NEVER do because I am just so darn busy...NOT! Have a GREAT Monday...I plan to!

No Me Monday!

Well it is that time of the week where we can be "real" with on another and admit the things that we have done...or maybe not done..."wink! wink"

First of all, I did not post my weekly "Not Me Monday" blog on a Sunday because I saw that other people from MckMama's blog had done so. I'm not one that wants to be a part of the fun and follow the crowd. No, that's not me!

I did NOT wear bed clothes ALL day long today. Now, I know that Sunday is supposed to be our day of rest but I wouldn't do that literally...really now!

I did NOT contemplate calling in sick tomorrow at work after being off for two weeks. Why would I do that? I had two weeks to be productive and get all that I wanted accomplished done right? Right? RIGHT?

I did not get on ebay and make bids on things that I really didn't need...I mean really it is just after Christmas and I don't need one more thing! Right? Well maybe just one more thing...SHHH! Don't tell okay?

I did NOT break several of my New Year's Resolutions. After all, I even posted them as a reminder so that I wouldn't forget! No I would not do that...never, never, NEVER!

I did NOT forget to put willpower and self control on my New Year's Resolution list. Really now, why would I do that? I have plenty of self control since I NEVER use it...uh oh, I think that it is time to go back to the list.

I did NOT go look at my school calendar and try to figure out when my next day off is...that would be tacky of me. I just had two weeks off why would I want more time off...to play maybe? "No. Not Me!"

Well friends there it is all the things that I didn't do! So tell me now what didn't you do this week? Do tell! Happy Monday Y'all!

Not Me Monday!

Today I did NOT do the cardinal sin of Christmas and become one of those horrid "re-gifters!" "No! Not me!" How could I do something like that? Really now...

I did NOT get one of those annoying Christmas cards where family members try to outdo their lists of accomplishments and draft up a phony one about my incarceration...I wouldn't do such a thing would I? "No! Not Me!"

I do NOT have a terrible cold and I won't get anybody in my family sick for Christmas...no, no, NO!

I did not flush one of my aggressive tropical fish that I had in my fish tank down the toilet because he was becoming Hannibal Lechter who was trying to eat all of my other fish. Really, how could I do such a thing? I know that the Bible says "Thou Shall NOT Kill" but I'd like to think that Mr. Tiger Barb is swimming out to sea where he can attack algae and fish his own size like the Great White Shark! I am praying as we speak that someone from PETA won't read this post! If there is a protest outside my house my response will be "No! THAT wasn't me!"

You know that I wouldn't do something dumb like do a load of laundry and realize that I forgot to put soap in the washer and have to do the load ALL over again! "No, THAT wasn't me!"

I'm also NOT going to tell you that when I stepped out briefly to go get some breakfast that I didn't wear two completely different pairs of slip on shoes! One blue and one brown...I would NEVER do something like that! "No! Not Me!"

I still don't believe in "Santa Clause." "No! Not Me"...but if you should have an encounter with him, please let him know that I have been a very good girl! PLEASE!

Happy Monday my dear friends...it is only three days until Christmas! Yikes I have to go get my Christmas shopping done! Gotta Go! You didn't think that I was one of those organized types that got my shopping all done and my gifts all wrapped did you, THAT IS SO NOT ME! (However I do wish that it were true...sigh)

Not Me Monday!

Today I did not start the day off checking out websites instead of getting ready for work like I really needed to. "No! Not Me!"

I did not attempt to glue 21 turkeys with orange fork feet just so that my kids could get take them home in time for Thanksgiving thus burning my fingers off in the process by using a hot glue gun! "No! Not Me!"

I am not addicted to hot glue guns and think that they are one of man's greatest inventions next to the wheel! "No! Not Me!"

I did not rush out of work and fail to tell my friend "good-bye" because I didn't want to stay any longer than I had to so that I could go to Wal Mart and buy some jeans. "No! Not Me!"

I did not eat three cupcakes today and justify it by stating it was because I was sick on Saturday and Sunday, that I needed to make up for lost time! "No! Not Me!"

I did not lose it when I saw my tire pressure light go out for the third time and run the car to Les Schwab Tires only to have them tell me that was nothing wrong thus making me feel stupid in the process. "No! Not Me!"

I did NOT steal the gossip magazine from the waiting area of Les Schwab Tires so that I could have something to read when I took my Calgon "Take Me Away" bath! "No! Not Me!"

I did not think the Les Schwab tire guy was adorable and wish for a minute that he could wisk me off into the sunset in a car that actually works! "No! Not Me!"

I did not order a McDonald's Happy Meal on the way home because even at 42 I still like to play with toys! "No! Not Me!"

I did not lose it when my wireless connection on my computer didn't work forcing me to call my Dad in a panic asking him "What in the &*%# is wrong with it!" "No Not Me!"

I am not addicted to "Celebrity Rehab" and have a major crush on Dr. Drew "No! Not Me!"

I am greatful I made it through the day and ended it with a cheerful conversation from my friend Amanda. She made me laugh and didn't make me feel guilty about taking the magazine from Les Schwab as a matter of fact she wants to "borrow" it! Spread the love around right!? (Don't you love how I justify my crime?) Happy Monday everybody!