Not Me Monday!

Well here we are again at the start of a brand new week and you know what that means...It is time for another fun round of "Not Me Monday" where I tell you about ALL of the things that I did NOT do. Yeah, right!

I did NOT make a quick Wal-Mart run yesterday without realizing that I hadn't combed my hair ALL day. You can imagine my surprise (or NOT) when I looked in the mirror and saw that I looked like a rooster! By the way if you happen to have seen me when I was out and about, please note that THAT WAS NOT ME!

I'm also NOT going to tell you that when I went to the Wal-Mart I had to buy these cool looking Pop Tarts.

Seriously, how cool are they? What will they think of next? Do you think that they are sending out a subliminal message by putting Barbie's picture on a Pop Tart? I'm just sayin' people..."Oh No,That Was Not Me Thinking THAT!"

Speaking of Barbie, I am going to go off on a tangent here because while my little girlfriends growing up were playing with their Barbies and dreaming of being one day just like her, I ripped off my Barbie's head from her body and stuck her on the end of my pencil just for the fun of it! What a nice little girl I was huh? Oh...I forgot, that was "Not Me!"

I am so glad that I did NOT go to the dentist and have to get shot up with novocaine twice because the first shot wouldn't take. That just wouldn't happen to sweet lil' old me now would it? "No, Not Me!" I also wont tell you that I ended up being so numbed up that I didn't realize that I was biting the dental assistant until she yelled at me to stop! I actually could feel bad about that but it served them right for hurting me in the first place! Do you think that feeling two novocaine shots and a drill digging so far down into your gums that you feel it all the way down to your toenails is something that I particularly look forward to? "No, Not Me!"

Do I tell you that when I went to the dentist, I took a magazine from the waiting room and didn't put it back? No, I WON'T tell you that but if I did, let me first say that by the time I pay my dental bill, they will have enough of my money to not only redecorate their waiting room but they'll also be able buy a whole new slew of magazines as well! I soooooooooo wish that wasn't me but as I sit here looking at my brand new "People" magazine, I think of it as a parting gift! (Okay, ya'll before you start branding me as a thief, haven't you done something like that?) Actually...it wasn't me that did that...Oh NO, NO, NO...it was my "alter ego." Yeah that's it!

Finally, I most certainly won't tell you that on my way home from work, a beautiful flock of birds went flying over my car and decided to relieve themselves ALL over the hood! At least my sun roof wasn't open! Needless to say, I didn't make it home right away...thank goodness for drive thru car washes! Do you think this is a sign of my week to come? "NO, NOT FOR ME!" It will be a good week! It will be indeed! So there you have it in a nutshell my friends...I pray that you have a better start of the week than I did!